My grandfather used to say “Some days it rains, and some days it doesn’t.”
He was an accomplished doctor, an eminent psychotherapist, and most important—to me, at least—a loving and caring grandfather who was always able to accept and adjust to whatever was happening.
I’ve seen people make comparisons between their mental state and the weather, calling depression, anxiety, or just feeling bad for no reason ‘brain weather’, and I think this is a wonderfully powerful way of looking at things.
These are things that happen to you, that you can’t control, and sometimes they make your life harder. It doesn’t help to get mad about it, or to blame yourself—just think how silly it would be to feel bad that it’s raining, or cold outside.
Some days the weather is bad, regardless of your plans, and sometimes your head isn’t in the right place, no matter how frustrating that may be. All you can do is find the best way to deal with the situation you find yourself in.
It goes beyond your mood, though, and applies to any factor you can’t control.
Sometimes you show up at a competition and your equipment doesn’t work, or you’ve forgotten something important and you need to replace it on the spot.
Sometimes, in spite of your best efforts, you won’t have gotten enough sleep the night before, or there won’t be a good breakfast around, or any of a hundred other things that could go wrong, and in that moment, you can’t do anything to change it.
Some days it rains, and some days it doesn’t.
So what happens when it rains?
You’ve got some options—you can take an umbrella, or wear a rain jacket—but no matter what you do, it’s gonna rain until it’s not raining anymore. Ultimately you can stay inside where it’s dry, or you can go out and get wet.
By the same token, if your weapons aren’t working or you’re exhausted before you even start or you’re called to the strip and you haven’t warmed up yet—or your luggage was lost and you had to buy all new equipment (or borrow from teammates) —that’s all just the weather.
You can’t control any of that right now.
All you can do is take a deep breath, use one of the skills you’ve practiced, let it go, and fence your best.
You can’t control whether or not it’s raining—you only get to decide if you’re brave enough to go out and get wet.
This post turned out to be more emotional for me to write than I thought it would be. I became close with my grandfather just in the last few years before he died, and writing about his favorite phrase reminds me of the times he supported me, guided me, and reminded me that there are some things in this life we can’t control—we’ve just gotta decide if we wanna stay inside where it’s dry, or go out, live our lives, and get wet in the process.
And as I write this, I’m inside where it’s dry, but for some reason my face is wet.